Carelessness versus Cost Efficiency

"To lose one parent, Mr. Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness." 

-- Lady Augusta Blackwell, The Importance of Being Earnest

CAUTION: This post will contain swearing, pinpointing where I live, and the put Continental's dirty laundry on blast. That's right. I'm naming names.

Ever heard the story about the Origin of Love? It's a story from Plato's Symposium, about how humans used to be very different than how they are now: Two faces, four arms, four legs, and three races (male/male, male/female and female/female). The gods grew scared of our power and angry with our insolence, so to punish us they split us into two -- two arms and legs, one face, and a belly button scar to remind us that we'd been cut in half -- and scattered us apart from each other.  And if you're lucky, really truly lucky, you find the other half of your soul. The person who gets you, completes you, loves you fiercely and completely and utterly.

A few of my friends have been privileged enough to find their other halves. You probably know people like that -- the couple that is disgustingly, adorably perfect for each other, the two that make you just fucking green with envy at how wholly at peace they are.  One of these rare whole people couples is getting married this weekend, and they graciously invited me to join in their joy.  This joyous (re)union is taking place in Riverside, California.

I'm down in Southwest Louisiana.

Slight logistical problem, no?

So. I arranged to stay with some friends (another disgustingly whole couple).  Got a dress -- got two, actually.  And I booked my plane tickets.

Oh, plane tickets.  What the hell.

My local airport is Lake Charles Regional Airport.  The nearest 'big' airport -- one where I can get straight point a to point b flights out -- is Houston International, which is three hours away.  And that's three hours without a traffic jam, without a wreck on I-10, without rush hour traffic.  Normally it's about three hundred dollars more to save on the headache and fly out of LC, but this was one rare occasion where it was actually cheaper.

I try to be a responsible flier.  I know that sometimes flights get delayed due to forces outside everyone's control, so I like to have two, three hours worth of layovers if I have to change flights.  My flight to California had a three-hour layover in Houston. 

 A man with a metal briefcase in an airport. Two things being like this: bad spy movies and good political thrillers.

Allow me to pause for a SPOILER ALERT:  I do not know everything.

Sure, I like to pretend that I do, but there's scads of stuff that I don't know.  I don't know how to fly a plane, or cook a gourmet meal, or write computer code.

What I do know? Is customer service.  I've been doing what boils down to customer service since I was TWELVE, and yes, I'm including 'teaching' in the lump sum of 'customer service'.  It's a skill that I am proud to (mostly) possess -- the ability to say just the right thing at the right moment, to sense when someone needs help with something and to know when to back down, and how to do it all with a smile on my face.

I know that times are hard.  They're tough all over.  Companies are trying to cut costs everywhere while trying to not pass it on to the consumer, but in the end everyone still gets shafted:  No one is hiring, no one is promoting.  No one wants to work with the company because "Every time I go there, the service sucks!"

Now.  Allow me to explain why I've gone on this lovely little rant.

From what I later came to understand through talks with fellow travelers and overheard from workers talking to each other, Continental had four flights coming out of Lake Charles today -- the first one this morning, the second one at about 2, the third at 5, and the last one at 7.  The first one got canceled. Unfortunate, but these things happen. Some people on the 5 PM flight came in really early and were offered seats on the second flight.

... Which also got canceled.

Now, Lake Charles is a small airport, and in the past they have canceled flights due to underbooking. However, they have since signed contracts with airlines to shuttle pondhoppers from Lake Charles to one of the hub airports.  The weather today was partly cloudy, and it rained for maybe ten minutes today.  THERE WAS NO LEGITIMATE REASON GIVEN AS TO WHY THESE PLANES WERE CANCELED.

When I arrived well over an hour before my flight at 5, the SOLE CUSTOMER REPRESENTATIVE was hard at work at the Continental desk. See, all the people who had moved from the 5 PM flight to the 2 PM flight lost their seats -- and everyone who had been put on standby when the first flight got canceled snapped up their (now vacant) seats.

Fifteen minutes before my flight is scheduled to go out, we get the announcement -- delayed until 9 PM due to repairs.  And while I am thrilled that they're doing repairs on an airplane, they HAD TO WAIT UNTIL FIFTEEN MINUTES BEFORE WE'RE SCHEDULED TO LEAVE TO TELL US THIS?!

There is a fine line between cost efficiency and carelessness.

THIS WAS CARELESSNESS ON THE CORPORATE LEVEL.

We all run down to the customer service desk, where there are now four people working -- and three of them are from the American Airlines desk, helping out the Continental woman.  Why? Because they've critically understaffed the desk and she's drowning.  I stand in line for an hour waiting for my turn to reschedule my flight because let's face it -- I'm missing my connecting flight at 9; even if I could possibly get on the 7 PM flight, I would land at 8. If it wasn't delayed. And that's land -- they don't count the twenty minutes you have to taxi and sit on the tarmac in their time schedule.

I'd like to take this moment to thank the literary gods for inventing the ebook.  Yes, it's killing the printed word, but you helped me pass what would have been a very terrible hour waiting in line pleasantly rereading fluffy, smart ass Gerald Morris Arthurian romances.

When I get to the front, the American Airlines representative informs me that the 7 PM flight is (over)booked (which I know already) so I have two options: Fly out at 9 and stay overnight in Houston, or fly out tomorrow.

Had the flight been out at 7 AM, I would have been in Houston for the night.  But the flight was out at 9:30.

THAT IS HALF A DAY IN AN AIRPORT.  Or, alternately, a hotel in Houston. At six on a Friday night. By the airport.  I'm looking at $200 -- easy.  $200 that I, frankly, don't have.

I'm not doing either.

There was a flight out of Lake Charles at 9:00...  But when the guy mentions it, the Continental rep next to him snaps "DON'T OVERBOOK MY EARLY FLIGHTS".  When he says that they've booked 31 out of 36 seats, she says, "THAT'S OVERBOOKED, DON'T GIVE IT TO HER".  It was like hearing the evil queen in Snow White lecture the looking glass over who was the prettiest woman in the land, and I'm not exaggerating by much.

By this time, I honestly don't fucking care.  I really don't.  The wedding's taking place on Sunday, so I can fly in on Saturday and then come back on Monday.

So I'm booked on a flight out of Lake Charles at 2 PM.  I'll get into Riverside at 7:30 tomorrow night.

The guy, to his credit, was nothing but nice.  I did thank the guy for his help, apologized for my bad mood -- it wasn't his fault Continental is being stupid after all, he doesn't even work for them -- and made sure to get the number of the reservations desk.  Because I'm getting some compensation out of this.

I'm FUCKING MAD because I had been looking forward to spending the weekend with three of my favorite disgustingly whole couples, and meeting my little nephew for the first time.  And am probably going to use the cleaned up version when I write a sharp note to Continental.

To top it all off?  I overheard the Continental rep say that the 7PM flight was going to be delayed as well.

TWO CANCELED FLIGHTS AND A THIRD THAT NEEDS REPAIRS?!  THIS IS NOT CUTTING COSTS, THAT IS CUTTING YOUR THROAT, CONTINENTAL.  People don't like to travel nowadays because of the expense.  Giving people the runaround isn't going to make us jump through hoops to fly with you again.

Tomorrow morning, I'm getting up early and calling the Lake Charles terminal and asking if they honestly, truly think that the flight will go through today.  If they say no, I'm getting my ass into the car and going to Houston.

I am not happy, people. This is bullshit. And if something goes wrong tomorrow, I may seriously end up in jail.  Any volunteers for my one phone call? I'll pay you back for my bail.