Getting Closer To Take-Off

“When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.”

-- Susan Heller 

So yesterday, 6/16, I realized two things:

One, that I would be landing in London in exactly 60 days.

Two, that I would only be landing with my passport, my wallet, an Oyster card, my British Museum card, and about 300 pounds.

Since The Great Fire of 2011, I have pretty much no clothing and absolutely no luggage.  Now, I'd been putting off buying things for my travels, but I figured that by now I'd have most of it bought.  The one big purchase I did make, my backpack to take with me instead of hauling a rolling suitcase all across southern England and Ireland, is ruined; due to the metal struts in the interior framing, the cleaning company won't touch it, and I can't exactly run it through the washer.

So I let the madcap buying of travel necessities begin today while things were slow at work.

Allow me to say the following: As a stereotypical member of the female population, I do have a weakness for shopping. Especially online shopping.  I'm not all that big a fan of schlepping out to stores and trying on outfit after outfit (conditioning, I believe, from other people continuously throwing items over the door and going, "Just try this one on, just try this last one on..." there is no last item. it's a lie), so if I can sit on my ass and have them bring the goods to me, I'm all for it.

As a member of the human species, I'm not all that keen on having to pay for it all.

But needs must, of course.  I spent all day on various travel sites, ordering luggage, checking for adapters, and looking for travel knick-knacks.  Let me share some of the...  strangest ones I've come across.  They seem to fall into two categories, camping or hotels.

* Homeopathic Cure-Alls

I am a good old-fashioned skeptic when it comes to homeopathy.  Some of it, I believe, really does work.  Some of it, I believe, only works because we think it works. Mind over matter and all that. So I am skeptical of jet lag, motion sickness pills and wristbands, and (my personal favorite) hangover cures, I get skeptical.  But if it actually works -- or tricks your mind into it -- I'm all for it. Especially that hangover cure.

* Drinking and Traveling

Speaking of imbibing liquor, it seems that quite a few people like to do it on the go.  My three favorite items I've found are a collapsible shotglass (which I get the feeling I may need for Dublin...), packable wine glasses and packable martini glasses.  I adore it, I really do.  It's a real pity that the 3-1-1 rule is now in effect, because the plastic wine bottle would have made the flight over to the UK just oh so much easier.

*Necessities

The problem with toiletries is that they don't exactly travel well nowadays: toothpaste busting in your checked baggage is terrible, but you can't exactly bring it in your carry-on (thanks, you stupid terrorists).  But necessity is the mother of invention, and you now have toothpaste tablets if you have access to a sink, and waterless toothbrushes (complete with toothpaste) if you don't.  I have personal misgivings about the waterless version.

Speaking of water access versus waterless, there's the ever-accessible baby wipes for adults if you need a quick touch-up (you all know my personal opinions on running water and my being able to get to it) or soap sheets and instant washcloths.  I've actually used soap sheets before, they actually work very well; and I've always loved those little instant washcloths.  They always remind me of those sponge dinosaur caplets you played with when you were little, the ones you'd drop into the bath and watch an orange T-Rex sponge pop open.

I'd like to mention the pop up hairbrush at this moment.  This works if you have virtually no hair. The moment you pull it through a thick batch of hair, the brush curls in on itself.  Just bite the bullet and buy an actual hairbrush.

I also came across some tan towels.  Yes, tan towels.  Disposable wipes with self-tanner on them.  I'll let that sink in.  Although, having never given in to the desire to make myself turn inhuman shades of orange, I imagine it helps provide a more even tan, but I'll let you lot figure that out.

Now, this is going to get a little...  bizarre.  As I said, some of these things are geared for when you don't have access to water -- or, indeed, a bathroom.  There is, of course, the standard disposable camping toilet, but there's also...

Well, I don't quite know how to describe it.  Basically, it's a device that allows women to use a urinal should there be no access to a sit-down toilet, or use the restroom standing up should there be no toilet whatsover. The one I've linked you to is my favorite of the two varieties offered, the reusable one (yes, there is also a disposable version).  I realize that this item is probably extremely useful in certain situations, but the reusable one cracks me up -- how do you wash it if there's no running water?

There's also disposable underwear (the link's super sexy, guys, you should totally click it) and disposable socks, neither of which is particularly disposable, since you can wash and wear them a few times before throwing them away.

This, of course, is merely what I discovered after one day of searching on one single website.  Do you have any weird/interesting/bizarre travel items you'd like to share with the class?