"They say that when good Americans die they go to Paris," chuckled Sir Thomas, who had a large wardrobe of Humour's cast-off clothes.
"Really! And where do bad Americans go to when they die?" inquired the Duchess.
"They go to America," murmured Lord Henry.
-- Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray
Blogs are a tricky business.
I've always felt that I'm not quite clever enough to have a blog. Sure, I fancy myself to be a writer, but I'm currently little more than a touch above mediocre at best. I'm not the next great American writer, and definitely not the next JK Rowling. There will be no lines around the block for my latest novel, no presell tickets, no movie deals, and no 60 Minute interviews. Which is a pity, because Anderson Cooper is quite a silver fox.
Now. That self-assessment is not a cry for attention or for pity, or for a flood of "Oh you're just so wonderful!" comments. I am well aware that I have entertained quite a few of you with my stories and posts in random places throughout the years, and I treasure each and every one of you who have read my work and gotten as much entertainment out of reading it as I did out of writing it. I just know that the way I write and the way other writers craft their words -- both personally and strictly via their work and their own blogs -- are rather different.
Of course, everyone is different. Some writers can paint such a beautiful scene with their words that it makes you want to weep in frustration because you'll never be as eloquent, as gifted with words and turns of phrases. You'll never be able to express their clever wit, their talent with heart-rending drama, their grasp of all-encompassing love.
However, at the same time, you can recognize those abilities and emotions within yourself. It's why we can remember the really good actors, the ones who can speak volumes without speaking a line of dialogue. Words that resonate have meanings, often personal and private ones. And we, as humans, can have difficulty bringing these points across. People are fundamentally different. We can sympathize, we can empathize, we can relate. But no one can feel exactly what you do, and when you try to express that to someone else and the just don't get it quite the way you do, it's frustrating.
It's a Rorscharch test, except with words instead of pictures. The general reaction is similar, but responses are individually different. And there's no right or wrong answer.
Another reason why I've never had a blog -- not a real, honest one, anyway -- is that I'm not... well, nothing ever really happens to me. Nothing really of much note. I'm frighteningly normal, or at least I like to think I am, and pretty boring. I work two jobs, I work too hard at both of them, and I probably annoy a lot of people. I don't go out on most Friday and Saturday nights because my friends are either too far away for that sort of thing, or too broke -- but then again, so am I -- or they have partners, families. Lives they're busy living.
And I resent all of you for it!
Okay, not really. Don't feel sorry for me. I'm not isolated or depressed or anything. Just mundane.
No, not mundane. In transit.
My profile picture is of me. Well, of my feet. I took it on June 14, 2010, on the Nevada/Arizona border. The seal is the state line between the two states, in the middle of the Hoover Dam. The right foot's in Nevada, the left foot's in Arizona.
I've always felt like that, a bit. Stuck between two worlds, not truly belonging to anything. An alchemist if you will, in love with tech and science and the new but tied to magic and mysticism and the old at the same time. I think everyone's felt like that from time to time; primed for something but not knowing what exactly.
So I think maybe it's time for me to go out and find what it is I want, what I really want.
This is being set up, initially, as a travel blog. I'm planning a trip for the United Kingdom in August of this year, so I'll be writing about the planning of that trip, blogging while I'm over there when I can, and writing about future travels, as well as talking about past trips and family vacations. Maybe it'll help me iron out some kinks in my head and I'll suss it all out.
Or not.
Either way, I'm looking forward to all my travels.
